sad? happy?

christmas wish! that will never come true =(

today i spend my whole day at home. OMG! it's sooo noisy. arghhh. my mum keep asking me about the results. when coming out, what time go school. so i told her, if my results is good then i'm going out. if bad i'm going back home =P that's another promise between me and my mum. i spend nearly the whole day completing my add maths hw and playing games. my mum scolded me =( i'm going to my grandma house tonight. won't be blogging for a few days maybe a week. christmas is coming. i'm not ready for that day yet. oh ya! i not yet put up my christmas clothes. but whoever going to gurney on christmas eve will see me there with my darling of course =) i saw that bear at prangin, S&J that day i went out. it's so cute. i wish i get to buy it =( guess how much is that bear. hehe. it's RM 69.90 i think so. the bigger one is RM 129.90. something like that. i want that bear =( it's a me to you bear. yesterday night we argued. haih. i cried again. i keep crying now days. i'm such a cry baby =( i hope i can stop crying and pretend nothing happen. i just said i lazy to go out on christmas eve and then. he's angry. he send a short good night message and say he need to be alone. i don't know! arghhh! my head is pain. cry cry cry. i love my life because he exist. he make me feel how's the feeling of being loved and cared. and also feel the feeling of being hurt. i hate that feeling the most. that day when we wnet to queensbay, i feel so sad when pass the place where i hugged him and cry. it's so embarassing. i hugged him and ask him not to leave me. that's the worst weeks in my life. from the day i finish my most important exam this year till the day he finish his spm. he treat me so coldly. like i'm just nothing to him =( *speechless* that's what i'll blog for today =) i hate when talk about that day. i cried alot in that weeks. nearly everyday