life life life

i went out with my darling yesterday after school. we walked there. i go out to disted side after putting my bags. but he was sitting at the bus stop. so i walked near him. but there's other students there so i don't dare to walk go and talk to him. he was talking on the phone. and a bus passed. he said that bus is not going to gurney. so we have to walk. that time i asked him to walk. and he stood there. i was like so scared and he's standing there. i shout louder and then he walked. i was so fed up. so i walked very fast. haha. he was like calling me and i kept quiet. i know i'm bad =P but he make me angry. it's not my fault. hehe. we reach gurney at about 2.45. it's 31st! baskin robbins. sob. i want to eat. too bad no money. haha. on the way to gurney, i hide behind a car and took off my uniform. i know i'm crazy xP then when we reach gurney we ate 1901 hot dog. i missed the hot dog so much. it's so yummy! after eating he wanted to buy his clothes. so i followed him and choose. he went to Soda and he want to buy the shirt there. went to ATM machine to take money. and went back to the shop. when he try the shirt i went in the fitting room with him xP but i feel so weird because that shop it's like all ladies no men. he is the only man there. and i went into the fitting room with him. he bought 2 shirts. blue and brown. we went in the toilet and kissed again =P about 5.30 we walked back. on the way, we drank a lot of water. then he shake the bottle of water. i asked him don't shake it. it's bad for health. he don't want to listen to me. he shake more and more. and i was so damn angry. i straight away walk without caring about him anymore. he asked me i want the water or not. i said yea i want to drink but not now. then when he shake the water, i told him don't shake already if not i won't drink. he shake more. i am really really angry that time. if you're me will you feel the same? yes right? ishk! then he walked to the bus stop opposite my school. 6 plus the bus came. he went back and i'm with a girl in the school. later, about few minutes later she went back. i'm alone there with the guards only. the school is so quiet. it's like i never been in such a quiet place before. i feel so calm there. everything is like gone for awhile until i went back. my mum ask me why i love to sleep so much. she said the ppl who love to sleep got shorter life. is that true? hmmmm. i never heard of that before. hehe. or is she just saying that to make me feel scared? hmmmm. hehe. and she asked me i sms with who again. is it that yeap (means my darling). i kept quiet. i know she know what i want to say eventhough i did not answer. she said don't talk to him that much. he's not studying anymore u're still studying. he can sleep till late u can't. hehe. then she said friday and saturday night u want to sms till what time i don't care. now u sleep so late who suffer. she stop awhile then ask me why u talk so much with him. he's ur bf already is it. i was so suprised with that question. i did not answer again.

booo!

weeeeeeee~! i not yet put my clothes pic up yet. ishk! keep forgetting about it. hehe. forgive me =) i received a message that said there's a ghost in Queensbay Mall. i'm so worried =( i hope it's not true. i'm scared. help me help me. i hope my life will get better as time pass by. my beloved took car exam in the morning. he failed and he's sad. i don't know what to do to help him. i feel so stupid and sad too. haihx. i can't even make him happy. what a gf i am. i just hope that he can be happy. but he's like eating to release his anger. he keep buying food to eat. i don't know what to do. i hope he'll feel better by the end of today =) but he seems very excited with the pic of ghost in QB. so i guess he's a bit better right now. school. there's this teacher. teaching me EST. i really hate her le. she keep giving homework. every lesson there will sure be a pile of homework for EST. ishk! hate her so much. then there's this discipline teacher. i don't know why but i keep met her in school. so bad luck. my hair and also ear. everytime meet her i have to pin up my hair and also take out my earrings. haihx. i'm so unlucky! she said she chose me to become a prefect but because of my hair and ear she did not asked me to g ofor the interview. she make it as if i want to be one like that. i don't wish to be a prefect. there's so many rules to follow and everything. but school is quite fun. with all my friends around. hope my schooling year this year would be better =)

thaipusam! =P

that day when i went out with my friends to prangin to buy present. this is what i bought. with my RM 30 savings in my purse =( ishk! should not buy it. things are getting more complicated. i hope i can forget everything about what that had happened. my parents and siblings is out to youth park there for thaipusam. throwing coconut =P i feel lazy to go because it's hot and also wet and everything. hahaha. things is getting bit better about my relationship with my friend i said before this. she gave me a Chinese New Year card. she wrote there she hope we can be friends like when we were in form1.

so i send a message to her. i said sure. and i hope things will be better. but we seldom chat and also talk. that's the biggie problem. today in school, i only asked her about biology rough book. see! that's what we said to each other for the whole day in the school. she's with her friends and i'm with mine. i don't talk to her when she's with her friends. oh well =) just hope things will get better by the end of June.

talking about Chinese New Year card. is getting nearer! a few weeks left. and my clothes is done already. what i need right now is a pair of shoes. which my mum promised to but it for me. =P i'll put on some pics of my clothes up. in another post. hehe. i bought 2 shirt from Padini, 1 pants from Body Glove, 2 shirts, a skirt and a pants from some shop. hahaha. but the skirt is short. my dad is angry with me because i bought such a short skirt =P what to do. i'm still a girl. hehe. i wan the tube from Padini. but it's quite expensive =( arghh! purse. i want to buy new purse but i don't have money. waaaaaaa! i want money. and i need money. sob sob.

my new watch

n also new sunglasses =) ignore my clothes. i'm wearing pajamas

this flower blooms during Chinese New Year only. how sad

my shirt from Padini. fabulous! =P

is the handbag nice? from Oreef.

nyam nyam. i want to eat =(

flowers! they're so pretty. unlike me.

my love life

OMG! i'm having mood swing. again. why must i do this? i'm like making him give up all his things. i just hope i never exist in his life. sob. i'm such a cry baby. why must i make him feel so bad. he already plan everything and i'm like destroying his whole future. what's wrong with me? he's going to KL only right? but why am i so sad. i should trust him. but why aren't me trusting him? can someone tell me what should i do? he wants to give up his dream because i'm sad. and now i asked him to continue his dream. and he say it depends on me. so it's like i should stop feeling sad? is that what he mean? or because of me he'll make his decision? he said he cant go with my condition like that. moody. future. i can't predict it. i hope i can predict the future. so that i know what should i do to make things back. i'm so stressed! with the school activities plus my tuition, and my problems with him. i'll have white hairs in no time. i have no idea what to do anymore. guess i should just take some rest. maybe i'll feel bettter tomorrow. haihs. how long will i be like that? until he's back from his study? or what? ...... *speechless* maybe i should pretend that i'm ok with it. and let him go study. when he finishes his study only i tell him the truth. this will make him go. and the only way. i can't think of anything else. i won't feel better so fast. i need time. and the time i need may takes few months time. i'll think about that. lie to him. doesn't sounds good but that's the one and only way. haihs

school?holidays?

today is a public holiday and a day for us to rest. hehe.but it's making me becoming more lazy to go to school. i hope it's holiday every year! i went out with my friends. to buy present for ash. and also go buy new clothes for new year. but i don't know why i go because i didn't even bring enough money to buy clothes. i bought a sunglasses and a watch. white watch. hehe. i seldom wear watch but i don't know why i buy it. i know i'm sick. but that watch look nice, so i bought it. i'm so unlucky this year. i hate my class this year. as in the people in the class and the teachers. one of my teacher, that is the one teaching me chemistry, she don't know how to speak in english! for god's sake! she's teaching us in english but she don't know how to speak. i think it's a disaster. and also the people in the class. i got my friends in there, that is my mama, june and cynthia. and the rest is like i don't really know them at all. i don't wan that girl to be in the same class with me and she's in. oh god! i just hope i can kill the teachers. why can they put us in a same class! i just feel like killing her when see her face. luckily i'm changing tuition soon. so i won't see her that often =/ seeing her can make me grow older faster. stop about unlucky stuff. school is full of things! stay back after school for activities. and also for science students who is taking accounts, we'll have to stay back extra time. i don't like it. argggh! can't contine anymore. my parents is back.

life and love

it has been a few days already i didn't say i love you to him. haih. i don't know why must i do this. i don't like it. but he's going to go KL to study. i dont know why i'm thinking so negatively. i hope i can be more positive =/ hmmmm. is this me? always think the negative side? sometimes i feel like take a knife and stab myself. and die! arghhh! i'm thinking of reducing my love towards him. so, if he fall in love with another girl when studying at KL then i won't feel so sad. i know i'm stupid. that's the only way so that i won't feel so hurt when he really do fall in love with another girl. can i do it? i really hope i can. now he's working so our sms time is getting lesser plus i have to stay back after school and tuition. i don't know what to do. can anyone tell me what should i do? my mum know that he wants to become a chef. then my mum said if he work here he won't get much money. i told her that he's going to work in cruise. she say if he work in cruise then he'll only come back a few times a year. and he have to 'separate with you'. but she said that quite soft. it's like her words make me think about my neighbour. her husband work in cruise as a chef. but he's rich. the bad things is he only come back to see them like twice a year? i can't do it. it's TWICE! i love him but the problem is things is getting worst. now we're not playing games because we feel that we keep arguing after playing. i don't know why. i hope we won't anymore. but nothing seems to work. today i saw a gown. at prangin. look like a wedding gown. it's so nice! i hope i can wear it. then i think about what he said. about our marriage and everything. it's so nice when discussing about that. but when thinking about the problems when becoming an adult, i don't want to grow up anymore. but i want to be free. i want to go out anytime i like. i know it's a funny thing to discuss about marriage when i'm still so young. and he's my first love only. love? what does love really mean? i really don't know what love means? is it about honesty? or is it about what? i hope i can forget everything and start my life again by knowing better people. not that i hate the people in my life right now. i just don't know what to do. i want to be a good girl. but what i do doesn't seems to be right. i can't be a good gf. that's for sure. i can't even handle myself. how can i be someone's gf. i'm a cry baby. i don't know how to do housework. i know nothing. i'm such a negative thinker. i don't know why i can be like that. i hope my relationship with him will be better. i said that if he did not fall in love with another girl when he's at KL then i'll give him back twice the love i'm going before this. i hope nothing will happen. hope my bears will help me when really he do fall in love with another girl there. i can't predict the future. so it's better i prepare. it's late already. guess i should off the computer and sleep. night!

hello!

it's been such a long time since the last day i blog. so many things happenend. well, erm let me see. where to start. staying at my grandma house isn't that bad like what i think. quite nice to be there since i can go out with my cousin when they go out. hehehe. then, somethimes i come back to my house to play games but i didn't blog. was too noisy. can't concentrate. so my house now is like a new house! not really new just that it's better than last time =) quite alot of things happen when i stay at my grandma house. i fight with my sis for a place. we end up full of scratches on hands and legs. haha! if u saw me this few days, u can see it on my hands and legs. actually, i sit there first. then i went to take my hp because i'm charging it. then my sis sit at my place because i go away already. but i'm just moving away awhile. so when i reply my messages already, i asked her to move away let me sit. and she say all sorts of things. so i get angry and push her aside. this is when the fighting start. she kick me with her leg because she was sitting and i'm standing. so i can scratch her face she can't. luckily. haha! i'm a bad bad sis =P on the 30th i woke up late. my parents and sis went back to house to clean the house already. so left me and my bro with my grandma at her house. my sis having an appointment to straighten her hair at 11. see!she's only 13 this year and she get to straighten her hair already! it's so unfair! i can't even straighten my hair when i'm F2. my mum is not fair! arghhh! about 11 somethin my cousin came. she say she's going to prangin with her bro. so i said i want to follow. but my darling's hp credit used up already. so i called him up and ask if he can go to prangin or not. then he said ok! haha. get to see him again. my bro is going! so my cousin say i'll take care of him u go walk with your boy. so i agreed. too bad that time we don't have enough money, we can't even watch a movie. we only eat a burger. because my grandma give me 10 bucks only. then, we sit at popular for quite a long time. then they came in too. my bro saw my darling holding my bag, so he walk to our place and she saw us! i nearly die that time. hahaha. before that i was sitting between my darling's leg leaning on him. luckily he say his butt pain so we stand up. if not we're totally dead. haha later i told my mum that i want to go out tomoro for new year. then she say i told u already u either go out on christmas or newq year. so u chose christmas, now cannot go out already. then i said, before this u say can. i finish PMR only i tell u already i'm going out. u say ok. now u say cannot. oh ya. talking about PMR. i get 6A's only. i should study geo! then i'll get straight A's =( oh! forget about that. talk back about asking permission to go out. i asked her can i stay at my friend's house after celebrating new year. she say no! arghh! i'm just lying. because i'm going to somewhere else with my darling. i don't know where to go with him late at night. haha! not hotel of course. hehe. i can't stay so my mum said she'll fetch me =) new year eve was quite fun. quite alot of ppl wear black and red. haha! i wear black. hehe. we watch treasure something. i forgot the name of the show =P after watching, it's about 9 something already i think so. outside no one is spraying! haha. then later, ppl start playing and it get more and more. then, i don't know what happen. a police car is there, and they started throwing spray cans again. not alot of them. just some. but still, it's bad. it's atired day. went back straight away sleep. haha. school was boring. especially teachers! there's so many things to study. i'm in science stream taking accounts. accounts seems interesting. i don't know but i hope i can manage it =) haha! it's not easy to study so many things. and we have to stay back till 3.20 everyday except friday. but friday we're going back at 2.40! everyone going back at 2. sad =( i lazy to blog already. i want to play my games again. haha. nights! will blog again soon. weeeee! school school school! and tuitions!