my heart feel so pain right now! i feel like crying. but i don't want. i don't want to be a cry baby. i must be tough. but it's so pain. what can i do? why cant' everything be better? why every nice moments will gone because of a few words? i'm trying to think of the reasons. but i can't. is animal having a better life than human? they don't have to worry about anything except for food and shelter. they can do whatever they want. they don't have care about anyone feelings. they just care about their own feelings. they don't have to worry if someone will get hurt or not if they said something wrong. they don't have feelings. but if they don't have feelings how can they like another female animal? they can go anywhere they want. their parents do not care. not like my parents!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wish i could go anywhere freely. without asking anyone's permission. i wish i could be as far as i can go. i don't want to be here anymore. i don't like this place. how to get out of this place? is this a test from the God or what? i want to be him. but it seems that whatever i do for him is wrong. it's not i want to be protective. i can't help it. i trusted him for 3 times but he make me lose the trust towards him. maybe i'm not supposed to be with him. but i'm supposed to be with him. because he make me feel happy. and sad too. everything doesn't seems right now. i want a relationship that couples don't argue. i'm trying to eliminate everything that will cause us to argue but it won't work. it'll work for a few months. and then, he'll do it back. he will promise me and that. and then, after a while, he'll be giving all kinds of reason to go back to what he wanted at first that i asked him to promise. this is why we'll never stop argue about the same things because he wants it to be that way. i can be happy in front of everyone but deep inside my heart there's a part of it that's bleeding.

my friends tagged me. so i have to tag. will do it soon. soon means when i'm free and in mood to do that =) good night everyone. it's late already.

i hope tomoro will be a much better day than today. i think it'll be. i'll try to smile back as usual. i won't try. i'll do it =] P.S. I Love You my Darling. i hope you understand me better by reading this =]

i'm really pissed off right now. today is really a bad day. i'm like........................i feel like shouting!!!!!!!!!! i can't. i just get scolded by my mum. why can't they just shut up and let me have some privacy. do i look like i'm still a lil kid? i know i'm short and i look like a std 6 girl but i'm not! I'M NOT! then there's this problem that he start bringing up again. i'm like baby crying there. arghhhh! why? i thought everything is ok d. why must it be like that? i know. i have friendster and that is going to be the day that problems will start to happen again. i know it. he'll surely do something one. i'm not trying to say he's not trustable. but, i just can't trust anyone already. i trusted him 3 times. and now. i can't trust him already. i'm trying to convince myself that he's a good guy. he know he's wrong and he won't repeat it again. but it doesn't work. i still can't trust him. i don't know why. i really want to know why. and there's friends. the one that i trust is.... i don't know hat to say ler. she's really so two-faced. she can be sooo good in front of you and say bad about u behind u. if it's me, i wont be treating the one i hate that nice and talk back about her behind her. who should i trust? maybe i should know them first before really trust them and tell them everything. is this how life is supposed to be? i want a better life. just when i put up the wish list, things happen. i can't see hope for my wish to come true anymore. =/

i lie to my mum again =/ i'm a bad bad girl. i know i know. someone slap me =( MY FAVOURITE MOVIE~! i'm going to buy the movie. hehehe. i just went out with my beloved. we went to gurney as usual. then, there's this problem again. i don't like that. i want everything to be normal back. i just hate it. am i that hated? i mean, she's good in front of me but she say i have an attitude which she can't stand it. i don't know waht attitude she mean. i want to know yet i don't want. should we tell her bout her attitude or leave it? i know i'm not that good to other people. because i know i won't get back what i wanted them to give. i'll just let it be. naturally. if they feel that i'm that bad to them. i can be friends with other people. please do not act in front of me. i don't wan to lose a friend. but if that is what she give me back when i treat her as a friend then i don't think i'll care anymore =] just let them be the way they want to be. i don't want to care anymore. i will be the way i am last time. i'm happy with last time life. it's so so so mush better than nowadays life. and yea. i regret telling my mum about me having a bf. i can't concentrate on what i'm doing. i have to do all good things. i can't do a single bad things. if not she'll start saying, i don't know what happen to you. i'm like. me? what i did? i just want to do what i wanted. she just can't keep her mouth shut. and there's my dad. i'm fucking angry with him. he thinks i'm that super clever girl. i'm his daughter and he should know i'm not clever. i tried my best already and he keeps scolding me. if he's that clever, why don't he just go and study and show how good he is???????? can't i get away from this family and live with my bf. he'll treat me much better ler. so much better than them. he can give me what i want. ok. not everything ler. but at least, i can feel love in him. not my parents. they don't care about my feelings. friends, family. i'm just telling out my feelings. if you all don't like it then, i'm sorry.

lazy lazy lazy

i'm supposed to post up. but as usual. i'm lazy. i just knew something yesterday. my mama show me a message. it was like.. i don't know. i feel very sad for my that friend. she's a nice friend. ok. i know i'm confusing u all. take it like that. there's 3 girls, namely, K, S, and L. all of them are best friends. as in like very good friends. so one day, S sms a girl to tell her that she cannot tahan L attitude anymore. but on the other hand L told K that S chat with her and tell L about her problems. she just said she cannot tahan her attitude. i can't believe it. i mean she's a very nice girl. maybe she's too sad or what. that's not her. actually, last time she's like that but she's a bit better than now. she's like a completely different girl already. i hope she realise it and she'll change. we'll be waiting for her to change back to herself =] MPO is just around the corner!!!!! i'm so excited. not really ler. but i just want to get out of this place. i can go and have some fun there and then come back and continue study. and i'll shop till i'm happy. oh yea. MPO is a trip. to KL. but too bad this year we have 4 hours to shop only. sad right? it's limited time. so so so limited. i don't think i'll have enough time to shop for clothes. i hope i can same clothes with my friends. it'll be so fun. i guess i'll be posting up more after my trip. and more pictures. u'll see all weird pictures there. weeeeeeeeee~! can't wait for it. one more week and i'm LEAVING penang. hehehe. last saturday was flag day. we just walk around at Pulau Tikus area with june, jing min, cynthia(my hubby), and also pei ying. then about 9 something, we went to Gurney Plaza and sat there. there was a group of uncle and aunty dancing. they can memorize the steps so fast. so damn keng ler. i look at them also like blur blur ler. can't catch up. so paiseh. hahaha! then, there's this uncle. he said we're so patient can sit and look at them dance but did not walk there and ask for them to donate. then we were like 'no, uncle. we want to watch u all dance not waiting for u all to donate.' then he said that we should erm. i can't remember he said. i just remember he say we must smile =] see! i'm smiling. haha. and one day, we should make about 3 friends. so one year we can make about erm.. let me count. my math is very bad. haha. 1000 plus. hahaha. keng right. his name is Mr. Sunny Ko. hehehe. i guess that's all for today. i waste the whole day watching movie and laying on bed. haha. now i online and post up. i did not touch any of my hw. weeeeeee~!

Get this widget Track details eSnips Social DNA listen to this song. it's a nice song =] it's a song from the movie Romantic Princess. the artist is Angela Zhang. and the song name is bu xiang dong de. enjoy it

voting day

hahaha. today is voting day. want to see who's winning. but i think everyone know who will win d ler. haha. just wake up. not yet even brush my teeth yet =p tuition. i dont feel like going. lazy ler. after exams already still have to go tuition. and also it's hols d =( waaaaaaa! ok ler. i want to go eat and bath already. will post again. mayb tomoro =0 today should be nothing happening ler. hehe. just wait for the results~!

pictures=memories

my lucky clover bracelet =]

my lucky clover necklace. it's a heart if combine together with my hubby one

inside the box. stars. i'm folding it since last year after PMR. haha

my birthday pressie when i'm std. 6.the hair is nice =]

my collection! i want more. =p

love! is wonderful

it's so cute isn't it? my hubby buy for me when he went to kek lok si =]

my angpau this year.

the cutest angpau! but too bad i destroy part of it. the another side of the pooh is gone =p

stars made from straws. nice!

i took this at queensbay =] nice big love

my new shoe! love it so much.

the partner of my lil cute green green =p

i love this star! it's so nice. i saw it at popular. waiting for someone to buy for me xp

my working money and my grandma give for getting 6A's money =]

EXAMS OVER, SCHOOL HOLS!

exams is over. at last. this exam really make me go crazy. the only school exam that i really study for it =p i think i'll fail this exams. even i studied but when i look at the paper, i go crazy! oh well, forget about exams. it's going to be an exciting day on monday when school reopen. i think when the teacher is marking the paper, they'll be laughing at my stupid answers XD i ignored my blog so long already. should post up more often d. too lazy to on the com. oh well. that's me =] a STUPID mosquito bite me =( it's so itchy. arghhh! valentine's day was wonderful =p i went to gurney. and my pressie! it's a me to you bear. hahaha.but i did not bring it back as my mum will know. i don't know how to bring it back =( what should i tell my mum? hmmm. so, today is ze's birthday. i-lyn bought a cake. actually, it's her dad. we sing birthday song. n we eat the cake. i did not eat. hahaha. n no one realised =p i just came back from ze's house. after my add maths tuition, she fetch me, i-lyn and june to her house and we ate pizza. from domino's pizza. she go all the way from farlim to gurney just to buy the pizza. hahaha. while eating, we watch a walk to remember. it's supposed to be sad. i cried when i read the story book but not watching. hmmm.maybe there's too many ppl there i can't cry. haha. this hols must be a busy one. haha. i'm going out to skate, celebrate joalin's birthday and with my hubby. i think my mum will kill me ler. sobs. i want to go. i'm waiting for this hols and if i really can't go out, i'll die =( that should be all. will post more often. i want to put up some pics =] in the next post. good night readers. =]