is other girls more important than ur own gf feelings?

is talking to other girls that important? why are they lying? if they feel other girls is nicer to talk with why don't they be single and go flirt with millions of other girls. no one will ever care. right? haih for guys. disappointed with what they're doing. they didn't even keep their promises and they expect us girls to keep it. why don't they just go take that girl as their girl. all and every girl who flirts with my darling is a bitch! haih. if the girls is that important why do they still want their gf? what's that for? for them to play with? for they to do anything? is every guy in this world like that? or will there be a guy that will listen to their gf and won't do it. help me!!!!! i hate this life. he said when go to college or university time i'll understand. he say to change me before i become his wife. so funny! why should i understand it? i know i don't like it. if working time he talk. i don't mind. that's of course have to. that's the only thing i can see that a guy that have a gf need to talk to other girls. not flirt with them. i don't know le what they really want. haih

life and love

it has been a few days already i didn't say i love you to him. haih. i don't know why must i do this. i don't like it. but he's going to go KL to study. i dont know why i'm thinking so negatively. i hope i can be more positive =/ hmmmm. is this me? always think the negative side? sometimes i feel like take a knife and stab myself. and die! arghhh! i'm thinking of reducing my love towards him. so, if he fall in love with another girl when studying at KL then i won't feel so sad. i know i'm stupid. that's the only way so that i won't feel so hurt when he really do fall in love with another girl. can i do it? i really hope i can. now he's working so our sms time is getting lesser plus i have to stay back after school and tuition. i don't know what to do. can anyone tell me what should i do? my mum know that he wants to become a chef. then my mum said if he work here he won't get much money. i told her that he's going to work in cruise. she say if he work in cruise then he'll only come back a few times a year. and he have to 'separate with you'. but she said that quite soft. it's like her words make me think about my neighbour. her husband work in cruise as a chef. but he's rich. the bad things is he only come back to see them like twice a year? i can't do it. it's TWICE! i love him but the problem is things is getting worst. now we're not playing games because we feel that we keep arguing after playing. i don't know why. i hope we won't anymore. but nothing seems to work. today i saw a gown. at prangin. look like a wedding gown. it's so nice! i hope i can wear it. then i think about what he said. about our marriage and everything. it's so nice when discussing about that. but when thinking about the problems when becoming an adult, i don't want to grow up anymore. but i want to be free. i want to go out anytime i like. i know it's a funny thing to discuss about marriage when i'm still so young. and he's my first love only. love? what does love really mean? i really don't know what love means? is it about honesty? or is it about what? i hope i can forget everything and start my life again by knowing better people. not that i hate the people in my life right now. i just don't know what to do. i want to be a good girl. but what i do doesn't seems to be right. i can't be a good gf. that's for sure. i can't even handle myself. how can i be someone's gf. i'm a cry baby. i don't know how to do housework. i know nothing. i'm such a negative thinker. i don't know why i can be like that. i hope my relationship with him will be better. i said that if he did not fall in love with another girl when he's at KL then i'll give him back twice the love i'm going before this. i hope nothing will happen. hope my bears will help me when really he do fall in love with another girl there. i can't predict the future. so it's better i prepare. it's late already. guess i should off the computer and sleep. night!